Dark Side Paradise

Sung by Darth Vader
From Jason Koedyker
Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio
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As I walk through the trench in the big star of death
I take a look at my fleet and realize there's not much left.
Cause I've been killin' and bringin' such fear that
even the Emperor wonders if my feelings are clear.
I ain't never killed a man unless he deserved it,
treatin' me like a punk, you know that's unheard of.
Better watch how your talkin' and watch the Falcon,
or you and your troopers will be lyin' and chokin'
I really hate to ask cause I really know
As they choke I clench my fist and the Forces flow, fool.
I'm the evil guy the little troopers want to be like
in my dome day and night meditatin' for the future fight.

I've been spending most my life
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
Used to be a normal guy
till I found this Dark Side paradise.
My grip is like a vise
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
You buy, you pay my price
since I'm in this Dark Side paradise.

I have this situation, I have to face it
Luke can't live a normal life, he was raise out of state.
So now I'm goin' down with my weapon-ry
cause that halo-vision watchin' has me chasin' he.
I'm a dedicated man with ruler ship on my mind.
Got my saber in my hand and power in my eye.
I'm a tall, dark, lord, standin' in a hanger
and the Forceflows around so don't arouse my anger, fool.
I can feel Luke now, he's just a couple feet away.
"Convert me now don't make me die,"
that's all he has to say.
If he's 23 now will he live till he's 24?
If he becomes too stubborn, I don't know.

Take my hand now, Luke and try to see
that together we can rule the Galaxy

We can spend both our lives
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
Would you please take my advise
and turn to this Dark Side paradise.
I think it would be nice
if you join this Dark Side paradise.
Or I'll kill you with laser light
keepin' this a Dark Side paradise.

Power in the Force, the Dark Side has more power.
Try it and you'll feel it, you'll make others cower.
You think you have the Force?
You think you have the Power?
Join me and I'll show you how weak you really are.
You say you want to learn,
that's why I'm here to teach thee.
If you decide to refuse,
then the Emperor will reach thee.
I guess he can't, I guess he won't, I guess he'll jump.
That's how I know I just ran out of luck, fool.

I'm still the only guy
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
I really don't want Luke to die
he'll live in this Dark Side paradise.
Next time he'll see the light
and turn to this Dark Side paradise.
If he won't I'll have to fight
he won't live this Dark Side paradise.

I can tell you now, it is your destiny
that you and I rule the Galaxy.
Maybe sometime someday you'll know and see,
you can come to complete your destiny.